I indulge in self reflection. Making it public is completely foreign to me, it seems wrong but I will post for my own reasons.
The seduction of power is wonderful and exciting. With Drunk Alpha I was with someone who is used to being in control and I was in a situation where I was a hairs breath away from not being in control. We were both fighting on the fine line to see who would win out, two opponents admiring the others skill. We annualized each other’s technique while we verbally danced. Meta-conversing, meta-flirting, always maintaining the proper distance.
Many friends have called me evil in my life time. Not because I’m cruel or seek to cause others pain but because I acknowledge the power I have in life and revel in it. I ascribe no good nor evil to many actions just an amorality, an existence to an action. People are neither good nor evil, they are people. I am decidedly neutral and thus free from the chains of expectation. Power is a tool, a hammer is neither good nor evil. It is a hammer, whether it builds a church or a prison. Worry about what it can do in the wrong hands is to ignore what it is.
Self awareness allows me to not care what others think. I need no attention from the masses. Most people who say this draw attention to their “lack of caring” thus proving they still need it. True power isn’t seen. A good director isn’t noticed, just the actors. The skill of the artist is lost to most as they just see the creation.
I find myself lonely in this existence though. Belonging is wonderful. Being understood is safe. I’ve made rules for myself to keep from hurting people. From hurting myself. I run into conflict with people, and I can feel lost. But I’m alive.
It isn’t that I have a disregard for other I’ve just accepted pain’s existence. My best friend put it the best “If Sarah care’s about you she’ll die for you, if she doesn’t care, she doesn’t care.”
God is “I AM”
Life is “IT IS”
I exist, it isn’t good or bad, it is simply the fulfillment of life.
The point of life is to live.
“The point of life is to live.”
Your level of moral and spiritual development rises to that of a virus, or maybe a bacterium on a good day. But, hey, at least you’re honest about it.
Meh, I don’t think a bacterium is capable of the same level of life as a person. When I say that I mean to enjoy being alive and to be aware of it.
For me moral development involves being aware of how my actions effect others and sacrificing what I want for what they need. I need to be aware of life to do that. Following rules because they are rules works for the most part but I find it easier to know why the rules are there so I can live to the spirit of them rather than the word.
Any my spiritual development is linked to that as well. Seeing every moment of life I can as a gift of beauty from God is to be truly alive.
I don’t think being alive is being mostly dead inside to the world but to live the fullest extent capable.
This is a spectacular post … i understand completely … you can see the matrix and you will never belong … let me describe you … you are the smartest person in the room … other people are idiots … and all you can rely on are your wits (and God) … you are a sigma