Bar adventures

Two of my room mates and myself went out last weekend. Just to get out of the house. We drove around a bit and ended up at a dive bar. Or a hipster bar. I can’t tell the difference and have only recently learned of the hipsters. I knew of it because a birthday party I’d been to had happened there.

The two girls I’m with are both pretty unexpereinced with guys. One’s had a few boyfriends, all serious and long term. The other has never had a boyfriend and is a virgin obsessed with sex (Sex Obsessed Virgin, from now on SOV). It was fun. They were compleatly oblivious to the guys checking them out until I pointed it out. We weren’t looking to meet men so were at a table that would leave us plenty of people watch as they came into the bar, but allow for very little interaction with anyone. I don’t think my companions were even thinking about any of this. But we weren’t there to meet men. Granted I don’t think bars are good for meeting men period but that is a different point.

To set the seen just a bit, the bar is set up with a narrow entrance with a bar on one side and horseshoe shaped booths on the other. Milling about in the space in between isn’t really an option as it is pretty narrow. The bar opens up to a few open rooms and has a smoking patio out back. We took one of the booths and I was in the middle. This was good for me. I couldn’t move with out upsetting one of my companions. Attention would have to be paid to them. This of course was not thought out, but instinctual.

I was most interested in watching my companions deal with men. There was one guy who not-SOV was checking out. There were a couple times she could have gone to the bar and gotten another drink and started a conversation, or at least smiled at him while there. She thought that tactic was dumb. It might be but it is also a very easy move to practice interacting with men. I think flirting takes practice, not necessarily to be good at it, but to have the confidence to have it be natural.

SOV talks about men with the strong voice of authority of one who has very little experience. She thinks my Art of Seduction book is silly and has no interesting in reading it or even anything to do with game. She however has research sex a lot. It is funny listening to her lecture non virgins on proper foreplay and how to have the best sex, what makes a woman orgasm, how to communicate with men in bed, etc. At the bar when talk turned to flirting she thought everything I said about eye contact and smiling was, well, dumb. When I asked what she would do, she didn’t know. But it should be natural. I asked what was unnatural about smiling at a guy you were interested in. Apparently nothing but that wasn’t the point.

There were two guys who came in late into the evening. Ok 12:30ish, not late but we were wanting to get home around one. They stayed standing at the bar for a bit, obviously checking us out. Soon the booth next to us cleared out and they grabbed it. It every time I caught them in my vision they weren’t looking at us, but something indicated to me they were paying attention anyways. Latter the room mate facing them would tell me they kept glancing at us a lot. When we got up to leave they blatantly stared at us as we walked out. I don’t know what their plan had been. I suspect it involved us getting a drink at the bar but when a waitress is wandering around doing that sort of thing we aren’t going to get up. If we had be interested in men flirting with us, we would have.

Sure we are young women who talk about men, but we weren’t interested in meeting them at this bar. I don’t know how my companions would have acted differently if they had been, but I know what I would have done. I would have sat somewhere more in the open, this would allow for easier movement. From me or men. I would have been able to see more people and the walk to the bar would be longer.

Two I would have gone to the bar for my drinks. Or at lest if there was an interesting guy at the bar gone to the bar for my drink. I wouldn’t have said anything but I would have made eye contact and smiled. Granted I was DD this time, and most times, but I can still grab free sober soda so the move still works.

Three I wouldn’t have been in the middle of the booth. Probably wouldn’t have sat at a booth at all if I could help it. It limits movement again. The person in the center is impossible to approach. The group must be addressed. This is hard.

Four rethink going with three girls or at lest be sure on which three. On one hand it is a good number as one person can leave with out leaving anyone alone. As a single girl at a bar my defenses would be up. I wouldn’t know what to do and would feel exposed. Two girls can flirt with guys pretty easily bouncing off each other if they are on the same page. Sort of a wing man thing. Three starts to be a group. Anything more is a no.

Dress however was the same. I like feeling pretty. I get made fun of by my room mates for always dressing up. My view of causal dress is different than theirs.

Again though, I have yet to go to a bar and do anything to try and meet men. I go to bars to hang out with friends. Even then not very often. I met a guy at a party that took place at a bar so a fuzzy area has arisen. Parties are better in my opinion for meeting people. Just by being there they have pass some sort of social test. People know them and if something is truly amiss they will warn you. Plus meeting guys at bars just feels weird to me. Art fairs, sure, grocery stores even, the hallway of my school, yes. Bars…. no. Something sleazy about it.

It however is a good setting to explain certain things to room mates. Who honestly probably will meet their husbands at church, or introduction by friend. It will just take them forever to realize a guy is interested or be willing to show they are interested. Not certain that is a bad thing, per say, but I worry they might miss out on a great guy in the mean time. I’ve seen that happen too.

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